Who Says you Have to Die?
by username-pocky
Summary: I'm Lovina Vargas, and I have cancer. Leukemia, to be exact. I've had it since I was born. I don't know how I lived this long, but I know I will die sooner or later. I wanted drama to stay out of my life...but the Tomato bastard had to come a ruin everything! (Spamano cancerfic. Beware Lovina's pottymouth.)
1. No Roma

Hey. My name is Lovina Vargas, and this is my story.

I'm sick. Not your typical damn sickness, no. I'm sick with fucking cancer. Leukemia, to be exact. I was diagnosed with it when I was born, and all that shit. I put up with the bastard this long! I'm about ready to give up and just fucking die. But then I'd leave my bitch/sister Felicia behind, and that's not good.

Let's continue. I'm sixteen and from Italia. I moved here when I was eight to better my damn chances of living. I don't know why. I'm going to die, anyway.

My twin sister Felicia, my brother Romeo and my grandfather Roma moved with me. My mom died from the same cancer I have when she was seventeen, two years after Felicia and I were born. Here's the logic; mama had cancer, I have cancer! Felicia was lucky. Papa has been an alcoholic ever since mama died.

Looks? Eh. I look like a normal cancer patient, minus the bald-ness. That's fucking disgusting, but I respect cancer patients and I've had my fair share of bald-ness.

I have mousy brown hair that barley touches under my ears, and my eyes are hazel. My hair is almost always in the same fucking headband, so don't expect much when you see me. I don't live in the hospital like some cancer patients. I live at home. I read, write, sleep (a lot.) eat, play video games, eat tomatoes (I like to fucking eat, okay? Especially tomatoes, oh mama Mia...) and that's basically it. My day in a fucking nutshell.

It's summer, damn it, I can do what I want. If you had an abnormal increase in immature white blood cells, you'd do the same. It fucking hurts.

Anyway, let's get back to my life. I woke up, ate a tomato, and sat on the couch to watch some stupid shit on TV. Normal? Yes. Then, Grandpa Roma woke up. Here's how our conversation went.

"You need to go somewhere, get out more."

"Why show my fucking hideous cancer-ruined face anywhere?"

"Lovina! Remember what I said about profanity?"

"Yeah, yeah, _dispiace_. Where would I go anyway?"

"How about to the mall with Felicia and her _amici_?"

"...fine. You win, _bastardo_."

"L-"

"Sorry."

* * *

"_Razzaga_! You look so pretty!"

Whoop. The mall. How fun. With a bunch of fucking idiots, too.

Here was Felicia with her horrid-looking potato bastard boyfriend and his ball-sucking brother.

"Hey, I shall introduce myself as THE AWESOME GILBERT!"

Ugh. The potato spoke.

"I'm Lovina." I introduced myself quickly, then moved next to my sister. "Is he fucking insane?"

Felicia smiled. "You'll get used to it!"

No.

"Antonio. Good to see you." Ludwig the potato bastard said, greeting a mystery person.

Who is this bastard?

I turned around to look at hi-

oh.

Oh.

OH.

Well, hello, sexy bastard.

"Is this Lovina? She's so cute!"

The Antonio dude blinked then made a dash towards me. Then FUCKING INVADED my personal space! He squeezed me in a tight ass DEATH TANGLE.

"Bastard you're so fucking creepy you better let go if me do you want to die I'm serious here stop fucking around I'll fucking murder you and you'll die a virgin fuck let go-"

"Sorry."


	2. Shit Storms

"Lovina! This would look so cute on you."

A tiny blush spread across my face. "No."

Somehow, a simple day with my bitch sister's friends turned in to a date with a _fucking weird_ Spaniard named Antonio.

Ludwig suggested they should see a movie but I'd already seen it so Antonio said he'd stay with me. The bastard _begged_! But, fuck, I had to admit he was sexy.

"_Mia tomate_? Are you feeling okay?"

My face had paled and I felt a little dizzy. "I'm fine, bastard. And I am not your '_tomate_'."

As we walked through the mall, teenage girls sent me disapproving glances. Fuck you. It's not my fault I'm cancerous and ugly. And I have a sexy Spanish guy next to me to prove the point. That I'm ugly, that is. _Śi_.

My breathing got rather ragged and loud after that. "An...Antonio..." I murmured in barley a whisper.

Fuck me and my small voice.

"Antonio!" I said.

The bastard turned around and I fell to my knees. People around me gasped. "I'm...not okay..."

My ears rang and I couldn't fucking hear anymore.

"Sorry."

* * *

"Lovi? Lovi! She's awake!"

I opened my eyes to see Romeo in my face. "Fuck, get away, you creepy bastard..." My voice was small and I could barley talk.

My brother moved away from my face. "Felicia! She's awake!"

"How long have I been sleeping...?" I asked faintly.

Felicia frowned. "2 days, _sorella_."

Oh, fuck me. I was asleep for 2 whole days?! Sexy Tomato bastard probably forgot about me by now and went home.

"You sure made an impression on my friends. Antonio-"

Boom. She dropped the a-bom. Da-yum.

"-and Gilbert-"

What the fuck?

"-have been waiting for you since you passed out! They both even slept in their chairs!"

Now, that's fucking creepy. That's fucked up.

I puffed out my cheeks. "Let the-" I paused while I thought of a creative thing to call them. "Shit-storms in."

Bam. That 99% has grown, and it's coming straight towards you, _Lovina_.

"Oh, Gilbert went home." Felicia sighed.

Back the fuck up. 50%. "So, the tomato bastard is still here?"

"Huh?"

"Antonio...the tomato bastard."

"Oh. Śi."

I sighed.

Felicia shrugged.

"Sorry."

* * *

"Feeling better, _tomate_?"

I eyed the attractive shit-storm and twitched my eye. "My name is Lovina. And, sure. This is all your fault, bastard. If you wouldn't have believed me when I said I was okay then I wouldn't be in this fucking sit-u-a-tion!" I accentuated the parts of the word as I bopped his fucking nose. I'm badass.

Antonio bit his lip and looked away.

Oh, fuck, that was attractive. My face lit up in a full-on blush.

The Spaniard looked back at me and raised his eyebrows.

"Sorry."

* * *

**I'm sorry I'm having way to much fun with the 'sorry's. Should I keep doing them? Let me know if they're annoying. I'll stop ^^ suggestions about things that would make this story better? I always appreciate reviews! ;3 (haloperidol everyone gets my 'shit storm' reference.)**


	3. Felicia

Three days later, I was still in the hospital. I mean, I was going fine, but...

Actually, I wasn't doing all that fucking great.

It spread, yes it did, it spread like a fucking whirlwind, and I don't know to be happy or sad. And by the time I pass own, I'm damn sure I still won't figure it out.

The doctors were trying their hardest. People from school came by and brought things, like flowers or candy. Useless things.

If you're going to fucking bring something to a hospital room, bring something useful, doucheduck.

Though the strangest thing that happened during this time is that the tomato bastard hasn't visited. I'd never admit it to him, really, and don't tell him this, but I missed him. A-fucking-lot.

But I don't have the _time_ for romance-it's just an infatuation, right? Right.

Oh, fuck me. I'm stupid.

I had a crush on the stupid fucking bastard, and I won't lie...as long as this stays between us.

Shit. I just told you my secret. Oh-fucking-well.

I've had a lot of time to think these past three days-about life, if I want to die, who I can trust, who I love.

I had come up with these conclusions:

1: Life is a dick.

2: Death is a dick.

3: Trust is a dick.

4: Felicia, Romeo, Grandpa Roma...and possibly...Antonio.

I'm not even sure of my fucking open feelings, okay? Love is a dick.

After my long thinking session, I puffed out my cheeks and lay back on my bed. This hospital was a dick.

Some idiot knocked on the door.

"Come in..." I groaned, flipping over on my stomach.

The door creaked open, and then fell closed. "Lovi?" A very familiar fucking voice sounded.

Oh shit, oh _merda_. I grapped a pillow to cover my immediate blush. "Don't...don't look at me. And...don't call me Lovi."

I got choked up. All my hair had fell out, because I had so little and we recently did the fucking chemo and-well, you understand don't you? _Comprendere_? _Śi_? _Buono_.

Antonio walked over to me anyway. "Your hair...it's..."

"Gone. In the trash. Thrown away."

"Lovina, I-"

I sat up and looked at him, tears spilling from my eyes. "I'm not so fucking _carino_ anymore, right? I'm ugly!"

"No, Lovina-" he kneeled down and tried to grab my hand, but I batted him away.

"Antonio, I'm going to die. Do you want to be known as the _bastardo_ who ruined a cancer patient's life by fucking breaking her heart?" I told him, looking him straight in the eyes.

I turned around abruptly, waiting for him to leave. Shit. He touched my shoulder. "Lovina. You are the most _bella razzaga _I have ever seen." He turned my body around making me face him.

"Bastard, don't disgrace my home country..." I barley whispered as I pulled his ass into an embrace.

He smiled softly, and nuzzled my ear.

"Sorry."

* * *

"_Lovina_! I made you breakfast, veh!"

...that fucking bitch interrupted my sleep. "Felicia..."

"Mm-nn! No crabby _razzagas_ here today, _sorella_! It's your first day home. C'mon, eat!"

Yeah. I just got home, and it's been...10 days since the incident with the tomato bastard. He visited me every fucking day after that.

But, damn. This girl would be a _good_ mother. If I ever had kids, it would probably go a little like _this_:

"Eat your fucking peas."

"No."

"Yes."

And I'd shove it in that kid's mouth if he liked it or not.

Felicia would also make a very cute mother. She'd have this really cute belly-

"Felicia, you put on some...weight." I blurted out.

She looked down at her stomach and blushed. "About that, _ve_..."

Oh, fucking _no_. Oh, _mio dio_, what did that potato bastard do to her?

"You're fucking pregnant."

Felicia bit her lip and nodded. "Śi..."

I flipped my shit. "*_Ho intenzione di uccidere quel fottuto bastardo di patate, lo giuro_!"

"No, no, no, no! Lovina, don't tell him or Roma. I've only told you, _sorella_..." Felicia's voice faded off at the last word.

I sighed deeply. Maybe this was good. Maybe this was a way for everyone to recover after I died...if I die.

"Śi..." I murmured, finally taking a bite of my pancakes. "But when are you going to tell them? You don't look like you have much time left until you start showing obviously."

Felicia sighed. "I'm inviting Luddy, Romeo, Roma, you and I to dinner tomorrow. That's when I'll tell."

"Felicia, I always thought that you were the fucking innocent, responsible one..."

She shifted her pose to face away from me.

"Sorry."

* * *

Translations:

"Ho intenzione di uccidere quel fottuto bastardo di patate, lo giuro!"

"I'm going to kill that fucking potato bastard, I swear!"

* * *

**Woop. I hope you guys liked this chapter, and I hope the 'sorry's are working. :3 I love you all so much! 3 Grazie! And if any of the Italian is wrong, I blame google translate.**


	4. Bambino

"Lovina, you should wear _this_ dress."

I sighed, scanning the piece of shit with my eyes. "Antonio, all of these dresses are fucking short."

The bastard's face fell. "I think you'd look cute."

"Fine."

Let me explain why sexy bastard is here. Felicia read my fucking texts- which means she figured out that he likes me. I mean, shit. It's pretty obvious.

She figured out that I liked him by my blush. That damn blush. Ugh.

So, she invited _him_ too. (If Roma knew he was in my room, he'd fucking flip.)

I told him to wait outside the door while I changed. He smiled and exited the room.

The dress was fucking beautiful. It was a short, red dress that shows some cleavage but not too much that you have to hide it from your grandfather.

It slipped on to my body easily, and it was just my size.

"Come zip it up for me, bastard." I muttered.

The door opened, then shut and someone zipped my dress up.

"I love you, sorella."

That wasn't Antonio's voice. Shit. Romeo.*

I turned around. "Romeo?"

My stupid brother smiled a broken smile. "You're my sister, and_ ti amo_, and you're beautiful, and...please...don't leave."

Tears welled in my eyes. Shit, my makeup. "_Ti amo, fratello, a_nd I don't plan on it "

Romeo hugged me tightly, crying softly on my shoulder. To be honest, this is seriously the first fucking time I've seen my _fratello_ cry. We never really get alone time.

I patted his back gently. "Shh...shh..._mio fratello_ is being a _bastardo_...ruining my eyeliner! Heh." I tried to cheer him up, but my voice got all fucking choked up.

Romeo sniffed, smiled and wiped his eye.

"Sorry."

* * *

"I want dark chocolate gelato, _per favore_."

I know it's not good for me to eat too much, but _shit_. Gelato? Fucking amazing.

Felicia was trembling in her seat. Tonight was the night she would tell _fratello_, Roma, and the food bastards she was expecting a _bambino_.

And I know I should tell someone, but I don't feel too well. But I don't want to ruin her fucking moment, _śi_?

The potato bastard sat next to her, holding her hand and smiling for once. And fuck, that never happens.

Antonio sat next to me. We didn't do anything intimate, but _damn_. Just _looking_ at him made my heart feel funny.

"Everyone..." Felicia suddenly said, making my head direct in her way. Heh, here it comes. She's gonna drop the fucking _bambino_ bomb!

Everyone looked at her and she stood up. I reached for her hand to assure her it'll be okay. I _can_ be nice at times. Fuck, it barley happens, but it happens.

"I'm having a-..._PASTA_!"

What the fuck.

"I mean..._bam_..._bam_..." she stuttered.

...

"She's having a fucking baby."

Shit.

Ah, here comes the-

"PROFANITY!" Roma yelled, then buried his face in his hands.

Ludwig stood up and hugged Felicia. "Shh..._liebe_, don't cry."

Romeo banged his head on the table, and Antonio? He flat out sat there with a gaping mouth.

"You're going to catch flies, bast-" Roma glared at me. "_bast_..._bast_..._bast_ friend."

I had to be German to save myself. What has this fucking crazy world come to?

Felicia sobbed in Ludwig's arms. "I'm such an _idiota_..."

"The male is the one who makes the babies, therefore it's _fu_-" I paused. "It's Ludwig's fault."

Ludwig frowned.

"I mean...I..." my voice became wheezy, and faint as my vision blurred. Fucking low oxygen. "..you...Sperminator..."

Antonio grabbed me. "Call an ambulance! Someone!"

The German's eyes welled with tears.

"Sorry."

* * *

* = Romeo is Seborga.


	5. That Sexy Bastard

No, I didn't fucking die, if that's what you're thinking.

But here we were again.

The same hospital as last time, with the same guests. I'm pretty used to it by now, I'm mean, mio dio! I've spent a whole five months here once.

But there was something different. Fuck, the whole mood was different.

Then I realized what was up - they were all disappointed at Feli.

'How could she get pregnant?'

She lost her virginity, god dammit!

Sexy bastard was always the one who brought me food in the morning and night. And here he was again, at 12:00 am, bringing me tomatoes.

Everyone had left to go home, and left me with him. Damn.

"Grazie, bastard..." I mumbled as Antonio brought a tomato to my mouth. I bit into it and sighed in pleasure. Tomatoes were so buono.

For a moment, he put the basket of tomatoes down. "Lovina." He said, looking straight at my eyes, probably fucking _planning to absorb my soul and make me his minion._

I swallowed on the tomato roughly. "Bastard."

Antonio blinked, and did the unthinkable. He made a serious face.

"I love you." He told me, and my face lit up red like some Christmas lights on my grandpas's Catholic Christmas tree, oh _mio dio_, that's bright. It's Catholic, for _dio's_ sake!

I hid my face in my hospital gown. "W-what the fuck...? T-that's fucking...crazy...impossible..._no_..."

Bastard smiled once more and walked over to the bed. He touched my head. I looked up at him with my olive-colored eyes.

"You're so beautiful." He breathed, pulling me in to a hug. While not facing him, I smiled. Is this what it feels like? You know, the fucking overused _'L_' word. Okay. Fine. I'll say it.

...

"_Ti amo_." I murmured, squeezing him tighter. Tears welled up in my eyes. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. You're not supposed to cry in front of sexy bastards! Or tell them you love them when in actually you're fucking _weirdo_ compared to them. "...shit."

Antonio pulled away slightly, confused. "What was that?"

"Shut the _fuck up_ and kiss me." I murmured, tears running down my face.

What in the _hell_ did I just say?

As I was basking in my own shittyness, the bastard fucking put his _hands_ on my _waist_ and my eyes widened. Antonio chuckled.

"Mia tomate looks cute.~"

And he KISSED ME. He fucking _kissed_ ME!

His lips pressed against mine and he pulled away.

Oh, _hell no_. That was too fast.

I pulled his ass back to me and kissed him again.

...and again...and _again_...

And, you get it.

Our lips moved in sync and my nose piece to my oxygen machine occasionally hit his nose, but he laughed.

At this point, I was getting carried away. We were sitting there, exchanging goddamn spit, and didn't notice that someone was at the door.

"...excuse me? Sir? Visitor hours are over." A nurse whom I didn't know said.

Shit.

"Sorry."

* * *

**Short chapter, but I haven't updated in a long while, so why not?**

**They kissed! :D**

**Bad nurse :( **

**I'll update more frequently from now on, I promise.**


End file.
